something that resembles happiness, and other things

so...after all these years of suffering, I am happy. That is the greatest feeling in the world. Emily has been my shining star in my land of darkness in which I dwelled. It would have been unbelievable to think that I would be so happy a year ago. I decided that I am going to type everything that I think for the next few minutes. so...here it goes... I'm glad that schools over. that makes (I'm screwing up the typing on all of these words, and it's starting to make me frustrated) I like how those are in parenthasis...I spelled that wrong, but who cares...me...I do...that's just how I am. I guess it was the countless hours of spelling in the hallway when I was in grammar school...they broke me...they took away my social skills by alienating me. maybe that's why...that was disturbing...I accidently hit the enter button on "here it goes" and I had to fix it when I noticed it...where was I. Oh! they made it impossible for me to interact with other people..have you ever said a word too much so that it doesn't sound like a word anymore...I just had a enormous gap in my typing...kind of like a dramatic pause...that's kind of funny, but not really. I think it was funny ish...yes I said ish. I also say no worries. Emily didn't think I said that in public, but I do..I was over to her house when I said it to ashleigh on the phone...that's the last time she really talked to me...it makes me kind of sad, but she is such a negative person, and it pains me to see her like this. I don't want to see my friends hurt...it hurts me as well...I just wish that I could tell her everything that pops into my head when it does, but she gets frustrated with me and my little "escapades" not even sure if I spelled that right, but here I go again on a tangent about spelling...no worries...ish...why do I always put dot.dot.dot. whenever I end something. There really is no good spot to put that in my conversations...why do I always hit the cap locks key also...just clumsy I suppose...this is pretty cool. Blogger saves my draft automatically, so I don't lose these meanigless thoughts dribbling out of my head...useful, huh? I wonder where my keys are...I hope that I did not lock them in my car...I would be so dissapointed with myself if I did that...I don't think I locked my car though...I hope so...my neck hurts I just cracked it. emily doesn't like it when I crack things...it makes her feel like she's going to be sick...that isn't good. I was really worried about her last night...I thought she might have been coming down with something so I checked her temperature every other minute...that isn't bad, is it? I just want her to feel good...I really do care for her more than I do myself...she just makes myself feel the best I ver had...this is probably going to offend somebody, and I don't care...these are my thoughts, and no one else can control them. I hate it when people try to control my life..ashleigh left me a coment saying that I don't respect her...that's coplete bullshit seeming as I respect her more than anyone on this planet...I just don't like it how she can fool around, and when I try to do stuff too, she starts barking orders like she was doing it the whole time...I need to go find my keys now...